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your prayer

i danced in a park today. i have been told to go forth and give my service. i don’t like the idea. what if someone makes fun of me? what if i screw up and make a fool of myself?
well, i’ve already made a fool of myself. and so what if someone laughs at me? or makes an obnoxious remark…
am i made of glass? performing is easy. putting my ideology out there for the world to mock and criticize is not so easy. not for me.
people in new york perform in the streets. i hear that new yorkers have thick skin. maybe it’s time for california to catch up to new york…
did i ever tell you that i i ;plan to go  to the big apple, but not until i hit every state in the union.
yeah, yeah, dream on, haelrazor.
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to no end does it part…

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i look at this picture often. my mother and my daughter.  how very precious they are to me. i am so grateful that i could give this gift to my mother. she loves my daughter as i love my daughter. this is true love.

my mother has always been possessed by an entity-an unintended curse passed down from her mother. the entity hates me. thus it appears that my mother hates me enough to kill me.

but this is an illusion. the entity is easily mastered once i target the real problem. and the problem is the way i feel about the appearance…

the appearance is that i am thoroughly hated by the one person in the world who should love me unconditionally.

this feeling, this attitude. is selfishness on my part. i do not require my mother’s love to survive. my mother, on the other hand, will need me and all the love i can muster if she is to survive the intention of the entity’s master.

may all the pain you have ever known be released. may you go forth free from the sorrow that has bound you,  dear mother.

do you know i love you enough to die for you? right now. right here. anytime. anywhere. but now i will love you enough to gratefully continue this life until the job is finished. evil only lives if you reverse life’s intent, which is to give and take in balance following nature’s example.

so then may evil be returned to live in the light of god that never fails to make all things right for those who serve that light well. and even for those who don’t. freedom is for all.

original image by Troythulu@iamthemirus.wordpress.com

http://iamthemirus.wordpress.com/

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i know you

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everyday i wake to the same altered reality. everyday it gets weirder. what will i do today? prepare what is left of me for departure.

i must decide what to take and what to release. i must determine to love my loved ones without cessation every moment of the day. the love must remain steady and immovable regardless of how much they hurt me.

i am moving away from everyone so i can be what everyone needs. i am finding myself by losing me.  i am finding you by letting go. i am being powerful by being nothing. i am being strong by the humility i carry in the place of my ego.

i am going home. my home is with those who know me. those who know me not i will protect from the silence. i am the silent watcher. i am fallen. i am risen. i am your slave. i am your freedom.

original image by Troythulu@iamthemirus.wordpress.com

Troythulu@http://iamthemirus.wordpress.com/

Video

fire in the hole

i have always known that one day we would face the forces of hell but i thought that hell would have more honor. always have i judged others by what i would do. what a fool. now i must see them as they have been, transform them into what they need to be, that all may become now all-one.

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bumps in the road? see a launch pad….

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I love this job.  People hate me.  Occasionally they might like me but typically not for long especially now that i have no more tolerance for kissing ass. i’m just lousy at playing the ‘it’s all good’ game when it’s anything but good.
Oops!!! there I go thinking of dear ol’mom again. god bless her hateful heart. she was in on the scheme to have me whacked. did you know that? of course you did…
‘Just love her’ I hear you say.  Yeah, yeah, I get it already. love mother. love mother dearest for she is the dearest mother i’ve had yet. sad but true that. love mother. uh-huh. love mother. uh huh. love mother ok. got it. check. 
Never am I understood. the more I reveal my true self the less I make sense to this old sick in the head senseless world.
Do you think it will ever get any better? will it, mother??? will it ever get better??? i love you with all my heart! i always have and i always will, as god is my witness i speak the truth…now give me a fucking answer!!!
‘Yes,  yes’,  I hear her whisper.  ‘Yes, yes’, I answer. there is an echo. it is forgiveness-the most powerful weapon of defense ever known. 
Yes, yes!!! it will get better. yes, it will. I am living out my own past creation at this very moment. All I have to do is change the appearance by the vision consciously and continuously projected in the place of the appearance.  Simple, simple, k.i.s.s. (keep it simple stupid)
wow! do you think that i may have finally graduated from playing it stupid??? time will tell. it always does. but you know time is running out…
Become the great command in action. become the great command that sets all life free. try it out. try me for i am elohim born. i bring you my soul. try it on and see what i mean. 
Know it.  Feel it.  Be it.  Do it. Prove it. Use it. Use it. Use it. Command life in the name of elohim love, wisdom and power and watch life jump as high as you can imagine. 
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Welcome Home Sanitarium

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well, I found my prayer room. only it’s not a room. it’s out in the rural prairie land that i once called home. it has been waiting for me since the day I left. this is the place where my daughter was conceived. this is the place where I first met death.
this land where i now sit is adjacent to the land that my parents own. my first love, my daughter’s father, is long gone. rumored to be dead. all houses burned to the ground in the last family war. this is my childhood stomping ground.
my parents are divorced. their 40 year marriage didn’t survive the last days of my grandmother’s tormented life. she lived in the mother-in-law house. it was built in 1999, the same year I became pregnant.
ironically, her house sits on the exact spot where my parents divided the land. they didn’t want to see each other more than necessary. less blood would be spilled this way or so they said. so why not just get away from each other?
my parents never wanted to sell the place. but neither was willing to let go. together they wrote the book on strangely stubborn eccentric behaviorism. mom holds the north end of the property. my dad mans the south.
my mother’s name is roxie. she has 500 cats. or something like that. my dad’s name is charles. he is very eccentric with a beautiful and spoiled new wife in tow. her name is blondie. he says she is worse than my mother. no comment from this corner.
I find myself trying to escape as much as possible. after my grandmother died I was given half of the mother-in-law house. I always did like that little house. it was cute and cozy. now its starting to decay.
for a while it was home to a pair of king snakes. then the rats took over. my parents ran off the snakes and exterminated the rats. sometimes my parents still work together. until blondie starts yelling about it.
roxie likes to yell too. she and blondie love swinging their battle axes around. they aim at me, my dad, and the cats. mom and blondie have a lot in common. they make for good target practice.
for some reason my dad has gone half crazy. people say that I’m just like him. I don’t know about that but I do like him. except when he’s being an asshole. but mostly he’s real cool. kind of out there tho. maybe I am like him after all…
so why did I come back here, to this place where the war never ends? I’m an idiot. but that’s’ not why I came back. they need me and I need a place to sleep. they think I’m about to go over the edge. they don’t know how many times I’ve come back from the edge…
as for roxie, charles and blondie…now they’re totally over the edge. so far gone they don’t even know where the edge went or that it even existed. then again, you never know. maybe I’m the one who’s totally lost. time will tell. it always does.
nevertheless, this is where I will perform the rite of spring…it’s necessary for the harvest to out manifest this season. I wonder if I will survive to see the harvest…
what a deal. thank you, god. thank you very much. here i am, back in hell again. yay me. welcome home, haelrazor. fasten your seatbelt. this ride has only just begun. it’s time to make all things right again. or so it has been said.
it’s time to do what’s never been done. it’s time to open the door. it’s time to take the hinges off. never again will this door be shut. it’s time to make heaven and hell all-one. all aboard. this is the long train back home. are you ready for it?

Snapshot 7 (6-3-2012 5-15 PM)

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Ain’t It All Just Grand?!?

Joy is of the Saints

at least i still have my sense of humor

nobody knows just how much i need it

without my sense of humor i would have gone wacko

you think i’m wacko already don’t you???

well i promise i won’t disappoint ya’ll

just warming up for the big one

it’s time to rock n roll

are you ready?

after this

the big bang

will look like

a hiccup

yep

just too much fun

 

Video

I Love You Hate Me Here I AM

I love this picture of H.P.B. I got to know her about 15 years ago and right from the start I somehow knew we would always be friends, even unto the end of time. One little misunderstanding tho…I could never figure out why she looked so solemn in all of her pics. I just couldn’t fathom it.
I remember thinking how lucky she was, with the greatest knowledge in this Universe resting right beneath her finger tips. Hell, she even knew the mahatmas personally. Geez, what more could a girl want??? Well…now, I stand corrected. Oh, yes, dear H.P.B., I surely do. This road is tougher than it looks…
Anyway, the video below provides a fair illustration. My sidekick forced me to watch this goof-ball-gone-psycho ‘Supernatural’ show, then oddly enough I began to see how it reflected my own life. Now how much does that suck? All I can say is that I hope I don’t look that far-out-there from the outside, but then again it’s only my bankrupt ego on the line.
Just like moi, Sam and Dean know how to roll with the punches even if they do end up in Hell at least once every season. They even know that purgatory and Hell have different time zones, plus they have empirical experience with the fact that both ‘getaways’ offer the ‘most excellent’ extreme-sport methods of torture imaginable.
Oh, my God!!! Do I always sound like a TV get-real-or-overdose-already-ya-mega-la-drama show???
Nevertheless, there will be peace when I am done altho I don’t mind if I never get to rest so long as there’s some good music with a beat that I can march to during my eternal servitude down in the pits of existence. Whatever comes I will face it head on with all the knowledge that I have gained during the never-ending tour of ‘damnation’s unlimited’…
There is no doubt about it-I will by grace survive to be victorious on this, the dreaded mission…by the Power and Rhythm of the Great Command I am at long last become that I AM. So listen up, Zor’ra, and listen well… there will be no more sorrow! Be thou free again…and suit up, girl…’tis the time to rock like a hurricane…and roll like the mother of all locomotives…
Whooo hooo & yippee ki-yay!
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Crazy Train Blog Radio

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A couple months back I asked God about what my life would be like if I had not made so many life-altering mistakes. (Ever since my early twenties I have tripped, stumbled, crashed, burned, and jumped out in front of … Continue reading

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The Discipline-Which Part of “Shut Up” Didn’t You Get?

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I can’t believe that I still haven’t conquered these issues that keep hindering me into yet another pathetic struggle for mere survival. I mean, how clear can it get? Simple rules, repeated oft enough…I don’t even need to write them … Continue reading

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Say What???

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I have no idea what to write, but I’m supposed to get in the habit of writing every single day-even if it’s just a thought or two. Can’t promise that I’ll publish everyday, but miracles do happen. Anyway, the important … Continue reading

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Dark Knight Surprise

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Back in the days before Batman began his rocky rise in the new era fame, I had the pleasure of meeting another dark warrior from whom Batman must have stolen part of his costume design. It all started in a … Continue reading

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Are You A Gambler?

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Someone once asked the late great dancer, Rudolf Nureyev, if he ever gambled. His answer was yes. He said that he gambled every time that he stepped on the stage and performed. Just being on stage was a gamble, according … Continue reading

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Tell Me About Yourself

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When people ask me to tell them about myself, I’m about as stupid as stupid can get. I start stumbling around and I don’t know what to say. I mean how can I possibly tell them the truth? “O’yeah, you … Continue reading

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To Be…HARMONIOUS???

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Harmony (aka LOVE) maintained in the feeling world towards all Life, substance and energy on this planet is one of the primary Keys that makes it possible for Forgiveness to be granted without limitation of any kind. In other words: … Continue reading

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Very Inspiring Blogger Award

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The Light of God Never Fails has been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award by one of my favorite bloggers, Maarit-Johanna. You can visit her wonderful blog on Alexander the Great at http://theworldofalexanderthegreat.wordpress.com/ So I guess there are a few … Continue reading

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The Haunted~Why So Scary???

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Have you ever noticed that in all the movies and tv shows about the paranormal most of the people are scared witless… Well, I can definitely relate to that, because I’ve been there. I can remember years ago when I … Continue reading

Green Day ..Jaded New Medication By timzauto

So, Tim, do you really think that I will someday be ok??? Even though this video shows exactly how I feel~even when I’m straight??? Love ya, Tim. And thank you for the belly laugh. 😉

timzauto.... in search of the blond haired kid

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When You’re Strange

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Some days I just don’t know what to write. I don’t think that anyone would ever actually believe what my life is really like. It’s not so bad, you know, Just kind of strange and unexplainable. But it isn’t it the … Continue reading

Stumbling Through the Communication Abyss

Well, at least I know that I don’t stand alone in my determination to ignore the bullshit…thank you so much, Old Jules. 😉

So Far From Heaven

Good morning readers.  Thanks for coming by.

Neighbor:  “Did you hear what the Governor of Texas did about Obamacare?

Me:  “I don’t know who’s Governor of Texas.  Don’t care what he did about anything.   Don’t know nothing about Obama, Obamacare, nothing.” 

Neighbor:  “Well you’d better find out!”

Me:  “I don’t go to doctors.  Haven’t been to one in 20, 25 years.  If I can get out of here before the election I might be able to go through the next presidential term without knowing who’s president.”

Neighbor shakes head frowning, shrugs.  The Universe pauses in anticipation of the next topic of conversation.

Old Jules

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Stand In the Right~Come What May

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln My entire family is at war with each other. Nothing new there. I grew up in a war zone and continue to live in a … Continue reading

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Visualize the World You Want

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Do you ever wake up in the morning with a very strong impression of a message that is being sent from one of your Guardian Angels??? That happens to me frequently…and I’m willing to wager that it is happening to … Continue reading

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Don’t Get Mad~Take Charge!

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Not long ago I was sitting out on the front porch, ranting to Beloved Saint Germain about the incessantly lazy nature of one of my household members. Now I know it may seem odd that I would bother Saint Germain … Continue reading

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Man Your Own Battle Station

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“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.” ~George S. Patton The Children of God are not supposed to see and feel alike. Why??? Simple. It’s called individuality. Without individuality, we wouldn’t have Free Will. And without Free Will…well, … Continue reading

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The Discipline Pt.3

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Every new day is another opporunity to do better than the day before. The first thing on my agenda every morning is to turn directly to my God Presence and make the connection as strong possible before the conditions in … Continue reading

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Don’t Look for Answers – Find the Questions

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This is an excellent article that I wanted to share with anyone who may have a few moments to invest…Don’t Look for Answers – Find the Questions « Just Wondering – Alternative News and Opinions. It’s from Just Wondering by … Continue reading

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Dealing With Personalities Pt.1

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I’m not quite as easy as the darkened warlord thinks I am. I just happen to be exceedingly stubborn in regards to following the rules. Plus…very, very seldom does anybody in the outer world give me even one decent prompting … Continue reading

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Welcome To Planet F**!ed Up

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THIS IS THE YEAR OF OUR LORD NEW YEAR’S DAY 20/20 IT IS FINISHED!!! Come one, come all, to the home of the ‘F**k Ups R’Us Simulation Program’. Welcome to the universally infamous ‘Dark Star’ where the experiment with misery … Continue reading

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I Thought I Smelled A Rat

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That’s what she said today. “I thought I smelled a rat!” Nice. Thank you very much, Angelica. That is the name by which I refer to ‘SHE’. ‘Angelica, the Queen of Hell’. Oh, wait a minute, that’s me-I’m Queen of … Continue reading

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Maybe Thor’s Hammer Would Make A More Efficient Rod

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Be Silent-Be Determined In Your Application-Be Obedient-Be Happy-Be Grateful. Okay. I can do that. With plenty of prompting and several daily whacks from the rod! Or, perhaps you could just use Thor’s Hammer instead. I’m serious…  Father! Maybe I’ve become ‘rod desensitized’…I could … Continue reading

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Remember Thee? Aye, Thou Holy Ghost!

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I have always thought of Hamlet as the Great Procrastinator. He had one good shot at getting the job done right, and he freaking blew it. Big time. By the end, almost everybody is dead. Including him. Bravo, Dumbo! Maybe if you … Continue reading

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I Prefer The Rod To The Guillotine

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You know, Anakin would have been a Hell of a lot better off if Obi Wan had kicked his little self righteous ass back in line as hard and as often as needed. It sure would have been easier on … Continue reading

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To Be or Not to BE? I AM Already Gone

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About four years ago I received an odd revelation. The Presence of God felt as near as I’ve ever known, having come to reveal an unexpected plan of action. It was something I never would have thought of on my own. It was … Continue reading

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Huh???

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OBEDIENCE!!! Are you talkin’ to me???   I heard about that once…it’s sounds awful, they say nobody has ever survived! Isn’t that cruel and unusual punishment??? Couldn’t you just flog me five times a day???

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NOBODY TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO BE A FREAKIN’ SAINT!

NOBODY TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO BE GOOD!

Ok, ok. I guess maybe you did mention it once, or twice…a few thousand times…butGAWD, I didn’t think you were actually serious! Have you been down here lately??? It’s freakin’ terrible! Just like me. Even worse, if you can believe that! I had more fun in Hell! Well, almost…but it’s hard being good all the time. What do you want, a miracle performance??? Isn’t that your Son’s gig??? Jeeeeezus!