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strive for truth

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if anything in this world is true then it would have to be the unmitigated reality of you.  no one can survive for you so why compromise your true self to please a world that will not strive to please you unless you give it what it needs most…the truth.  what is your truth?  who do you serve? for what purpose and why?

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be free, be true

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original image by Troythulu@iamthemirus

gratitude is my best friend.  without gratitude I’d probably be dead.  it’s awesome to note how easy it is to generate the feeling of sheer gratitude in the midst of conditions that appear
troublesome.. . 

and it works better than a charm.  i kid you not. never,  not even once,  has gratitude failed to level tbe playing field.
i need to work on gratitude more often…starting with right now.  thank you for being you. thank you for the rare loyalty through which you have blessed my life.

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moving forward

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i am happy to be me.  i have much for which to be grateful. i am especially grateful for the precious girl i call daughter. may god give me the strength, determination, and drive to do right by her. even unto the end. if i achieve naught else i will  have achieved honor by serving well the needs of my daughter. image
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haelrazor city

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THE CALL: do thou, dear father,  take the helm.  when i forget my goal strike me thru with the sacred fire illumination that reveals the answer i need to keep as my beacon. if i must take to the streets alone then do thou fortify this outer self to be unmoved by every appearance. fill me with your fiery christ purity and grace that never falters no matter how much i must face and transform. make me fearless.  keep me humble. i love thee.  i bless thee.  i thank thee.  i am with thee always that i am, haelrazor

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for crying out loud

Snapshot_20130826_2THE CALL; so what is the key, dear father, to getting past this curve? how do i move forward from this lonely illusion? i know, i know…
“keep my attention off the appearance world. put myself into mental lock-down when necessary”.
but is there something more to alleviate the strain? can you give me some comfort? please show me the way to a clear mind and a heart that holds nothing but that which is thy plan fulfilled.

THE ANSWER: be silent, child. hold thy tongue by the will of elohim. fear not the appearance but dwell within the realm that keeps the balance. turn away from the appearance. turn away as if it were a poisonous, coiled serpent. turn away and seek comfort in the sacred fire. do not ask for help from the humans but love them without want. seek not to find a solution in their ways of the past. no one will help thee unless they be led by the holy spirit, seek comfort only from the one whom thou dost serve. be true to his word. be true to your divine purpose…become the answer you seek. 

original image by Troythulu@http://kestalusrealm.wordpress.com/

http://kestalusrealm.wordpress.com/

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the killing

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why so unforgiving

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i really try to do right.  typically i fail.  or shall i say i fall short of my own criteria. 

i can forgive others as easy as breathing.  I wish someone would do the same for me.

or for anyone really…

why so unforgiving?

i know why… because most people don’t know that they have an alternative.

or they allow their ego to hold sway and refuse to become the alternative.

the hardness of vengeance is their shield.

the sacred fire is my shield.

sacred fire does not answer to the human will.

a divided will is the wheel upon which one is broken.

i know this from long and hard experience.  may your experience be far less brutal than my own.

may i have all that i require to forgive your vengeance against me.

may you be free from suffering so that i may become the forgiven.

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the drill

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somedays it feels like I’m being driven to the edge.  like the image from Pantera’s Far Beyond Driven… the drill keeps driving.

that’s ok. i ain’t complaining… just explaining.  i may partake of stupid but i ain’t stupid thru and thru…

i know damn well that I’m not crazy. you only hope that I’m smarter than i look….and act.

but if you keep holding to the idea that I’m gonna screw it all up then that would make you an accomplice. 

if i can see all of you doing right then what’s so hard bout all of you returning the favor?

who has the tougher job?  put yourself where i stand.  imagine that.

personally I’d be ok with your end of the bargain. then again,  I’m ok with this end too…. 

thank you for pushing me to improve. i couldn’t do it without you.  be good to all.  may all be good to you.

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smile thru the despair

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thou shalt not covet

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i used to envy people who had passed thru the change called death
don’t get me wrong…i was never suicidal
 i’ve always known that suicide just makes it worse
 you have to come back and go thru the same shit all over again
no thank you
once is plenty for me
i used to envy the departed
because i figured they were going to the place that i call home
there is no one in this world who knows me
i have over stayed my welcome
i can’t leave until the job is finished
i can’t leave until my father says well done
that’s all i want
there is nothing left to covet
i am ready
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working for the fix

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the open door

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the knight

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i love the night hours
i can think more clearly
i can dance in the middle of street
i can watch them watch me
 we all pretend to be up to nothing
i love the night hours
the night hours love me
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perceptional existence

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original image by Troythulu@http://kestalusrealm.wordpress.com/

my friend Troy is keeping me grounded. this is important especially during extraordinary shifts in one’s life experience. 

today i realized how often i allow the wrong details to dominate my consciousness. whether they are real or imagined is irrelevant.

i am here for one purpose and that purpose is to be an example of the worth of my convictions.

my convictions are worthless unless i can prove their value.  i can’t prove their worth unless i become the embodiment of every conviction i declare to be the truth.

this is going to take some guts.  thank you,  Troy.  you are a Prince, and if i may dare, a mighty fine Pleiadian too. ★♥★

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it’s a good day

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everyone just wants to belong to someone who truly loves them and whom they truly love.

we all want to live in an ever intensifying electro-magnetic current.

we all have different methods and concepts regarding our quest for the never ending sense of comfort and joy.

challenges are great.  change is great.

but only if they produce the manifestation of what we seek.

may this be the day we find what we seek.

may today bring comfort and joy in the experience of your choice.

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the word of elohim

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if i would make all things right then i must feel that all things are right… even as the appearance world screams as the wail of banshee. even as you hate me so do i love you. even as you … Continue reading

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be specific

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when i used to imagine the perfect romance i left out some very important details.

i forgot to think beyond the initial thrall and drama.  for some reason i never got to the ever after. 

my one true love would be like me but a polar opposite acting in accordance with the scenario of the day.

i want a tough man. tougher than me.  that would be akin to godzilla times three.

I want him to read me like i read others. no one has to tell me what you’re feeling.  it’s obvious. i want to be known… and not in the biblical sense alone.

i want him to be man enough to kick my ass (metaphorically) if i need it… before he’s ready to kill me.

yes, I’m a shrew but only when i don’t feel loved by the one who should love me above all others save god.

i will build the vision and the one,  my true love, will come… in more ways than i ever before imagined.

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to be the reality of you

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there are many who question my stand.  none more so than myself.  i do not assume i am right. 

i am no longer afraid to speak the truth. this is no small feat.  we are raised to lie. 

people lie to defend themselves.  or at least that was my excuse. judgment kills. more than aught else.

thought feeling and spoken word are the only creative powers in the universe.

take heed to how you use that power.  imagine how you’d like to receive what you send forth. 

it’s worth the effort to think twice. three times is even better.  it could save a life.  it could change your life.

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as i am

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tis true… I’ve become a hardass. survival can do that to you.  yet still i forgive everyone…

except for one…

romance doesn’t work well with my line of work. then again sacrifice has been a prerequisite from day one.

But sacrifice is futile if you find yourself remaining empty long after the sacrifice.  so we are rewriting the rules.

rules are useless if no one can abide by them.  we can have fun and be good too.

Didn’t you know that god created sex,  drugs,  and rock n roll?

god is ALL and he is looking for the right way to live… without boundaries.

o’yes. god is the devil and vice versa. like it or not. there is nothing outside of the creator.

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going 123 going forth….

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everyone knows what i need to do.  everyone is ready.  so am i. 

i have to allow him to be himself.  i have to allow this first of all by not allowing the hatred to take hold again.

we have hurt each other immeasurably.  i am more guilty than he is because I’m the first contender.

nevertheless it doesn’t make me feel better to know that he’s only given as good as I’ve given.  especially considering the circumstances…

i can only make it better by releasing the past,  forgetting the sorrow and holding to the law of forgiveness. 

i must hold the vision of what i desire to manifest.  i undermine myself everytime i see or feel anything less.

great presence of life within!  take charge!  it’s your job to keep me on track!  i can’t do this without you.  i can’t do this alone.  i’ve already proven that,  have i not?

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all for one cause

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when one dies there is a moment when one’s entire life culminates into one all-pervasive thought.

if i could have the power to chose that thought i would hold the vision of the open door-never again to be closed on any planet in any universe…

and through this door would come the bride, the father’s wife. mother of all creation.

father work be pleased for at last he would know his own true love.

i fancy that this is the primary reason for our existence…

to build the the prototype for the left eye of god…the infinite wo-man.

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the job

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i am an alchemist.  plain and simple. my ability is focused on the transformation of spirit.

there is no mystery to this job.  mystery has become harmful. it’s time to hear the voice of god without all the confounded riddles.

it’s tough enough to make the grade even with clear direction.  therefore we will consume the mist so that the tree of knowledge can be seen by one and all.

we have earned it.  we’ll call it ‘time served’ or whatever you prefer. 

the fruit is ripe. take your fill with care to be not selfish; remembering always to be kind...

you serve life for your own freedom.

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drawing the line

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drawing a line is an important matter.  we cannot back away from that line once it has been drawn.  if we back away we lose footing as well as respect.  since people aren’t natural born respect machines then getting respect can be a tough job.  keeping respect is even tougher.  some people don’t care if you like them or not. but some of those same people will literally will kill you if you don’t respect them.  and i can see why. 

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finding me

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i used to have nightmares about a malevolent creature who lived in the attic.

it was a woman who screamed at me with the vengeance of hell.

her world is a raging inferno of flames that never die.

she is me…

she is my past.  she is my present.  she is my precious. 

she has waited for centuries.  she waits no more.

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fear no evil

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the only evil i fear is the evil within.

humans like to blame the devil.

humans are the devil.

we become satan the moment we cease to love each other as Jesus loved us.

be honest…

fear not thyself.  conquer thyself.

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the leap and the change

i’m sorry to have taken such a long hiatus.
the days fly by like lightning.
my daughter said that today was strange.
looks like she’s finally starting to notice the change.
i bet she isn’t the only one.
have you taken your leap of faith yet?
today is a good day don’t you think?
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original image by Troythulu
 iamthemirus.wordpress.com/ or  troythulu.tumblr.com/

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