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silent death, silent resurrection

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whatever the case may be i can’t give up. 

now i know why i need to remain uninvolved.

i don’t want to be alone but i can manage this one last time. 

if you can’t be kind to me now don’t cry after I’m gone.

i don’t need you.  i only love you. 

i let you too close again.

you are the blade in the dark.

withdraw the blade.  let the blood fllow.

may i never feel pain again.

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2 comments on “silent death, silent resurrection

  1. I’d like to thank you for your comment on FB earlier, and have been wracking my grey matter for a response – I hope this is appropriate: You are beautiful as well, in both mind and body, and though my people skills are horrible, my wish would be that nothing and no one would ever hurt you. Sometimes we need to be alone – and that’s understandable.

    We need each other as people, as the social primates we are, but with some of us, not always “that close.” After ending a relationship in 2009 because of the risk involved, I’d decided to trust my brain before my heart on those matters in future — I tend to get into a lot of trouble in thinking with anything except my brain.

    We must do what we feel is right, though it certainly helps to weigh our choices and decide in choosing the best option based on the possible consequences.

    • hi Troy. always am i happy to hear from you for your insight always gives to me what my insight misses. 😀 i must confess i hurt myself more than anyone else. i’m probably just a natural born fool. too nice. to lackadaisical. too easy going. too outrageous. it’s no wonder people have it in for me. i kind of figure i deserve it.

      however, i’ve decided to not lay down and just let them do me in. i’d like to do just that sometimes but i realized tonight how that would be an injustice to my own life. i don’t deserve to be punished and tormented endlessly just because some individuals are intent on seeing me bleed.

      i have learned my lessons. time to move on. i have no hard feelings in spite of being kicked around like a piece of crap. i find myself thinking of their happiness before my own. that’s my cue. my attitude is right with life. cash out, baby, cash out.

      i’ve earned the right to be happy because i would still die for those i love even tho they are more apt to kill me than help me. that’s about as close to sainthood as this bitch will ever get. now i’d like to find my place in the world. maybe i won’t get better treatment but once you overcome your family the rest is cake.

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