have you ever heard the cry of a banshee? i bagan to hear her right after i came back to ol’ 333. i ignored it the first time. the second time i became curious as to what it was. the third time she screamed loud and clear enough for me to get a clue. i had also seen my doppelganger twice that day. fortunately for me i’m not superstituous. i think of these things as warnings not harbringers of the inevitable. however, there are.moments when i question myself because my life as it was has definely ended. now i meed to create a reality i can live with…
it’s been 4 months since sonnie hit me with the sale of colonel’s house. it seems like four decades. i can’t think of a single aspect of my life that hasn’t changed save one. my relationship with the presence of life is right on track. for the first time in this lifetime i feel like i’m doing what i need to be doing.
i have let go of everything i ever dreamed of having, loving, or holding. my home, my inheritance, my mom, my dad, my boyfriend, my belongings…now even my child listens to the poison my mother feeds her. but it is as it should be. my exile has been my grace for in that lonely place of dwelling have i found peace…
it is here that i will become the knowing. it is here that belief, faith, and all those other stepping stones will become just that…stepping stones. been-there-done-that’s-a-wrap-up.
the hardest part of this journey has been seeing my family turn on me one by one. this is my worst nightmare. therefore it had to come to pass. i had to learn the truth behind my weakness. it’s all an illusion. a subterfuge for the truth. once none of this bothers me it will fade away. i already know how it works.
i knew this was going to be a big year. and it’s gonna get bigger. finally, i get to do what i love to do most; raise hell. the right way. i’ve trained my whole life for this opportunity. i want everyone to know that i’m ok…
trust me. i know me. i may be a little crazy but i am closer to the mark than you might like to think. i’m pretty rationale overall.
but you know what? i really dislike this ‘i stand alone’ business. i always knew i would be alone in the end. that’s ok. this time. honestly i think it’s that way for most people. now i will know that i will never again be alone. ah ha! now she comes to it.
i can’t imagine what you will think at this point. the beam of light comes from where? you tell me. did i fake this shot with the blood pushing to my temples? you tell me. if not what could make this happen? i have not lied or faked anything. if i am insane then it would be a relief. i let go of caring for what people think. i serve the light of god that never fails. i stand by this conviction for life. forgive me for my sins for they are many. i promise you i will never die. the light of god never fails. i love you at all times for life.
i have no idea what you will think of this video. i do not want to share it but i keep getting the prompting to do so. i listen to the voice of god. i have heard his voice since i was seventeen. now i am told that i am completely insane. i will let you decide. i did not edit this video. i really don’t want you to see it as it shows how imperfectly formed i am and i am vain. this is my weakness. one of my many. all i do i do for love. may the light of god that never fails protect you always. i love you at all times for life.
and the story begins thus…we are born of Elohim…
pat cegan told me that she stands for the light. indeed she does. i stand for the darkness. that is not to say that i am the darkness. i simply know the darkness well enough to be comfortable in it’s presence.
we have reached the end of duality as we have known it. soon there will be no more good and evil. there will be the one manifestation of our collective intent.
this very moment our dual natures are coming into alignment with each other. at this very moment we are shifting into the fourth dimension.
it is important that we manage this change with an understanding of what it will bring…imagine only what you would have manifest.
remember always that there is no power but god that can act…remember this and nothing will have power to affect you except the powers of light.
no words can describe how i feel right now. i will be glad when its over. people think i’ve gone nuts. i do believe i am gone. totally. i died the other day. i think i must be in hell now. i have never felt more hated, rejected, or betrayed. yes, that would be my hell. the light of god never fails. it never has and it never will. i love you at all times for life.
please go away. please leave me alone. why must you insist on this massacre of my existence? what did i do to you? what are you doing to me? how did i get to this place? what happened to the place i used to know as my beloved home? i must have sensed it when i left colonel’s house. that must be why it was so difficult to let go.
i don’t want to die. but i don’t really want to go on like things have been. there is only one way out…thru the door. i am the door. can i really do this? either way i enter the unknown. then again that is where i came from. in the end it’s all good-it’s all god. somehow i will find the strength to let go. somehow i will survive.
i don’t know for certain how this will end. i still can’t believe it’s happening. i must be nwo enemy number one. all i did was set the entities free. apparently i freed the wrong entities. who knew???
why me? i guess i always knew this day would come. i think imagination may be better than reality but the day ain’t over yet. haelrazor may still have a reason to smile again….
and if i don’t have a reason i will make one up. i wonder how my mind will work on the other side? will i retain myself and lose all consciousness of self?
no matter what, no question about it…time will tell. it always does. now time is running out. is this the perfect storm or what???
this vid was taken some time back, in april or may. i rather long for those days. i thought it was stressful back then…i didn’t have a clue. but at least i have not been bored or wondering what to do next. i know what to do: stand strong and survive until the new day finally arrives. we are starting the change…the shift into the 4th dimension. fasten your seat belts. it’s gonna be wild.
This is a story that I was born to live. And live it I shall. If you take me down to my last breath I know I will rise again. i am zor’ra, the razor of the flaming sword. by that sword and by the promise i will “raise her”…i will raise hell into the divine plan fulfilled for all. wouldn’t you rather help me? or would seek to kill me again and again just like in the days of our past? I will love you for your unmitigated hatred just like i did back then. I bring you mercy and forgiveness with the same force that you bring death. I love you at all times 4 life. I am the Elohim manifest that I am.
this is my gift to you. for all the sins of my past i give my life for your freedom. the light of god never fails. use that statement and nothing can harm thee or thy loved ones. all you have to do is know. know, know. see nothing but the light of god and the light of god will fill thee to make thee indestructible. in the name of the prince of peace, i bless thee with eternal life. be thou indestructible.
The world as I knew it has ended. It may take longer for you to see what I know but soon you will not doubt my words. Beware the illusion. It will give you nothing now. But there is something better waiting…if we be but strong enough to take it with the intent to give it to the children of Eden. The door is open. Let us rejoice as the new day dawns.
A young fella named Timothy used to call me Rambo woman. I love Rambo. I relate to Rambo. If only I could be as good as Rambo. Rambo is the quintessential misunderstood loner. He will do anything to help someone for the right reason. Rambo is a sucker with a punch like no other. He does what’s right just because it”s right. He gives his heart, mind, and soul to the cause. He asks for nothing in return. Rambo exists only to serve a greater cause…
Is that even possible…??? Or is it just another Hollywood bull-shit-o-rama-who-thought-of-this-crap-a-looza? You decide. I have a mission to accomplish. Code name: survival