for some reason I feel like crying but I won’t because it would be a waste of energy. I need to get to the bottom of this issue. I need to get a grip on the kraken within. I never thought the day would come when I’d be in this position. but nothing in this lifetime has turned out as planned.
well, that’s not entirely true. I just thought I’d have better a handle on it by now. I guess figured I’d be invincible. the plan has always been the same but the details are different from the original pattern. there have been numerous contingencies due to my daredevil attitude. I guess I like being a masochist. enough already.
I have to stay the course even as the dragons come out with the intent to devour my ass. I won’t get upset. I won’t get upset. I won’t get upset. no I won’t. don’t lose your temper, zorra. stay focused. turn to the presence of life within. ask for directions. you owe your first allegiance to god and none other. remember this always.
everything depends on my ability to control my temper. everything depends on where I put my attention. how do I keep my cool? how will I ever be true to my vows? easier said than done is always the way of it. and why is that? nothing worth having is ever easy. who wrote these rules anyway??? they fucking suck. ok. whatever. I am grateful. in spite of it all, yes, I am grateful.
be still, thou kraken within, be still. know you not that I AM your master??? now shut up, sit down and count to 10 million. speak not from your ego but speak as i speak from within. feel not but that which you feel when we have become all-one for the one in all. be as I AM that others may know you also.