it’s taken me my entire life to figure how to do what is that i must do if i would know peace before i leave this world. all i want is to know that i’ve done what needs to done.
when all is said and done in a manner that’s the best i’ve ever done i will no longer be afraid of death. after all there is no such thing. i am determined. i will leave nothing unfinished.
i want to be absolutely certain that i won’t come back. i will not feel like i’ve felt in this life ever again. i’d rather not even exist. not for anything in the universe would i do this again.
i imagine my mother must feel pretty much the same. she can’t even tell just how far gone she is but i can see that she’s not even there anymore.
there will be no double tap for my mama gone zombie. not on my watch. i need to fulfill my promise to her as soon as possible…
i once told her i’d take care of her for life. then i watched as she became a slave to her own mother because she didn’t have the strength to be true to herself while in service to another.
now i have to break the cycle without breaking my mother’s heart or allowing myself to be broken in process. yea, every demand must be understood before it can be answered.
the challenge to live and live free begins…may peace keep us when we are naught what peace would have of us. in christ jesus’ name, so be it.