Well, finally, after twenty years I am ready to do what I knew would one day come to pass. The only problem is that I still question my own sanity. One would think that after all that I have seen with my own eyes, there would be no doubt left to rear it’s ugly head just to torment me into another crash and burn scandal.
I know that if I went to Mental Health and told them what I see, they would want to medicate me into a slobbering patient. It wouldn’t take long to convince a doctor that I’m certifiable. It’d be real easy, cause all I’d have to do is tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me God. Of course, I could convince them that I’m normal too. I’m a professional chameleon, but I am ready to shed that skin before it tries to choke me to death again.
More than twenty years ago I encountered the ferocious little Jinn, who first inspired me to become a HaelRazor. Funny how I never even understood that my real service as a HaelRazor would begin with her. She is quite powerful, but not as powerful as some Elementals, so it’s a good place to ‘make my bones’. Ironically, I won’t be hunting, binding, or seeking to exile this formidable Elemental. Instead I’m going restore her to Oromasis, without judgement. Let him decide what she needs to do to make restitution, if that’s even necessary. My only command is ‘no more war’. She shall commit ‘no harm’ henceforth.
It’s been a year now. I systematically laid all the groundwork. Steadily, I have blessed her in small doses so that she won’t suffer and experience unnecessary shock when I finish the job. Full mercy. That protects me. She can’t be vengeful against mercy. But that doesn’t mean that she won’t try and draw blood, especially if I don’t give her enough Sacred Fire Purifying Love to heal her wounds completely.
I just have to remember that it’s all real, and far more important than being afraid to show my true colors to the world. Please, dear Source, don’t let me screw this up. Don’t let me forget the reality of existence. Make me as you are, dear Father, regarding not other’s (0pinions) nor seeking reward. Most of all compel, compel, compel me to honor you, the Master at the Helm, thou Light of God that never fails. Amen