I’m not quite as easy as the darkened warlord thinks I am. I just happen to be exceedingly stubborn in regards to following the rules.
Plus…very, very seldom does anybody in the outer world give me even one decent prompting to go in the right direction. Usually it’s quite the opposite.
It seems that everyone I know has been a tool for the beast at one point or another. I know that sounds exceedingly harsh. But not really.
My dear loved ones don’t have a clue as to what’s going on in most cases. I am the one who is responsible for doing the right thing.
Always and without exception (from what I have seen thus far) the buck stops with me.
Because of my knowledge and understanding. To whom much is given much is required. Plain and simple.
Therefore, it’s nobody’s fault but my own when I end up facing the consequences of yet another one of my epic blunders.
As much I hate to admit it, that’s pretty much the gist of it.
I have always been told well in advance what to do, what not do, what to look out for, etc., etc…
Obviously I must believe that what humans think of me is far more important than what the God-Head thinks of me. Which is more likely than not the primary reason why I keep making such outlandishly stupid choices…
It’s like I have a incurable disease or something…I just can’t seem to stop being such a wuss…unless somebody makes me really mad, then I let loose like Hurricane Andrew…
But if somebody is nice to me, or at the very least subtle about manipulating the Hell outta me, then I’m about the biggest sucker you’ll ever meet.
There are two primary reasons why I have so often been just like putty in the beast’s hand. First, I want people to love me or at the very least think nice thoughts about me. Why???
Because being loved by the family has more value to me than all the wealth and power in the world.
After all the lifetimes I have lived through on this planet I have come back full circle with the knowledge that nothing really matters in this fucked up outer world but the people and that which comes from their Hearts.
You can have all the riches imaginable and conquer countless nations, but in the end…
Do you know what really makes you feel worth something??? It’s the look on the faces of those who surround you as you die.
If they don’t look at you with true love, or at the least some form of respect, then everything, no matter how great it may have seemed to be at the time, means absolutely nothing.
At least that’s how it was for me. And that has been my Achilles Heel. But doing what people want you to do will not cause them to love you, although it may appear otherwise.
What they are really loving at that particular moment is the fact that they are getting their own way. They may hold you dear because you are presently satisfying their demands, but once you stop doing what they want…
Then see how much they love you…
Therein lies the test and the truth. I have learned in this lifetime that the only way to really become the recipient of irrevocable love is to give people what they need, rather than what they want.
Of course, that may not make them extraordinarily fond of you right at the moment…but in the end they will truly, truly love you, because you will have been instrumental in setting them free.
And even though it may not be instantly rewarding to be true to the Source, at least you can comfort yourself with the glorious fact that you won’t have to kiss anybody’s ass ever again.
Thank you, God!!! And AMEN.
- The Discipline Pt.2 (sthaelrazor.com)