The Struggle Within Against The Push From Without Pt.1

I have determined to make the stand. Again. I’ve been trying to quit smoking. Again. Pretty easy when I really, really want to do it. And I would know, because I have quit multiple times since I was 17.
I haven’t smoked cigarettes since my late twenties. Those things are really nasty. Although, I’d probably smoke any old butt laying out in the street on one of my really bad days.
But I love a cheap cigar. Mmmmm. Yeah, baby. My favorite nowadays are the Black and Mild wood tips. In fact, I have to go and grab some nico gum before I start pondering whether or not I should have just one more…
Naughty girl. Be right back…Ok. Hopefully, that’ll kick in before I go crazy.
In the old days I just had to gut it out. I could do that again, but my damn boyfriend keeps buying more smokes, and he leaves the all the butts laying around in the garage. Thank you, Butt-head.
He likes the Black and Mild’s too. So, it’s been quite a challenge. I told him not to do that anymore, or I’m going to break his nose. Right after I break up all the cigars.
The last time he made that mistake I smoked his last cigar. Then I hid the keys to the car. Then I glared at him. Then I kicked him in the balls. Twice. Nice, huh? He thought so too. He’ll learn to keep them outta my sight. O’yes he will.
I don’t expect him to quit. Even though he did buy all those nicotine patches (the wuss), which I’m probably gonna jack, since it’s obvious he’s never going to use them…
In the past it was easier to quit because there weren’t half smoked Black and Mild’s laying around the garage. It makes a difference, trust me.
But still, l fell off of the wagon all by myself. It’s a long story but it’s relevant. So, I’m going to tell it like it is and how it’s been for the last 27 years. Yep. I’m 44 now. Can’t wait to get to 50. Hope I survive long enough to see 45. Insha’Allah.

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